# Sloth Rage vs. Minnesota Passive Aggressive



## ninja[Sloth] (Jul 4, 2018)

I keep rewriting this and it turns into a book. Lets try this again, my lawn overgrows very easily. I cut it high, my neighbors don't get why I do, but my mostly fescue lawn really likes being in the 3" territory.

If there is the slightest sign of getting out of control, one of my neighbors will drive his mower out of the section along the dirt road. This just so happens to be the thinnest part of the lawn, because the dust from the class 5 makes any bare spots impenetrable. Most riding mowers highest setting is about 1 notch from my lowest setting, and this happened yesterday while I was at work.

Needless to say, I am really "not pleased" and the thoughts I have range from scalping to glyphosating my entire yard as a gigantic middle finger. I wish I had a grass that didn't look like crap if I mowed sub 2", but I don't have the amount of flow from my well to endure a renovation. Three 180 degree MP Rotators seems to be my limit. I thought about getting a commercial mower that supports taller mow heights which would at least better present a taller grass height as kept.

*Does anyone have any suggestions for solutions* that wouldn't upset what marginally good relations I do have with my neighbors? I work from 50-70 hour weeks depending on if I am on-call. Rainy days seem to have pretty impeccable timing for being the days I have the energy to go outside. A service would be nice, but I'd probably have to abandon all goals.

Lack of book, failed... Supposed to be dry today, plenty to do. Sorry for my disjointed series of words, I am not really doing well at articulating beyond my frustration.


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## KHARPS (Jun 21, 2018)

You could just ask him to not cut your grass...


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## Killsocket (Mar 16, 2018)

Ask him to not cut your grass and educate him why and what your preferences are. He may think he is doing a favor due to your hours?


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## pennstater2005 (Jul 17, 2017)

If you know where the property line is you could run a stringer line there a couple feet off the ground and leave it there for awhile. I did this and the neighbor never asked but she followed the line when mowing and eventually she stopped coming over into my yard.

If they ask just say you're thinking about a few projects or something.


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## 1mjbrierley (Sep 22, 2018)

ninja[Sloth said:


> " post_id=184482 time=1562426214 user_id=2271]
> I keep rewriting this and it turns into a book. Lets try this again, my lawn overgrows very easily. I cut it high, my neighbors don't get why I do, but my mostly fescue lawn really likes being in the 3" territory.
> 
> If there is the slightest sign of getting out of control, one of my neighbors will drive his mower out of the section along the dirt road. This just so happens to be the thinnest part of the lawn, because the dust from the class 5 makes any bare spots impenetrable. Most riding mowers highest setting is about 1 notch from my lowest setting, and this happened yesterday while I was at work.
> ...


Sounds like you may be part of the issue. Have you thought about trying to communicate with the neighbor? It's life.


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## jrubb42 (Jun 20, 2019)

1mjbrierley said:


> ninja[Sloth said:
> 
> 
> > " post_id=184482 time=1562426214 user_id=2271]
> ...


^^^ This. You have to tell them so they understand you don't want it being done. If it progresses past that, then you have a problem.


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## drenglish (Jun 22, 2018)

I ran in to this issue a year ago with my neighbors and it was the same situation. I maintained my lawn at around 4" (TTTF) and they scalped their field once it grew to about 12" down to 1" or less. Often times they would start the mower in the street and mow through my lawn to get to theirs as a drainage ditch was right in front of their field. I never knew who they were because they don't live there - it's an empty field for sale. I'd often times come home from work to my lawn either covered in field clippings from them side discharging on a "trim" pass along the border, which happened to be several feet on my side. It was always a frustrating mess and it made me angry just about anytime I thought about it.

Finally, I was home one day and confronted them while mowing my side - I asked if they (husband and wife team - wife mowed and husband watched) could stop mowing my side and they said that I had moved the property flags, even though there weren't any as long as I've lived here. I tried to explain what I was doing with my lawn and why, and I got some glazed looks. Turns out they were the step children of the land owner who I got in contact with about the whole situation.

Anyway, a proper survey and a decent follow up conversation about goals and expectations with the owner resolved the issue. In your case, a survey may not be needed if already properly marked.


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## Wolverine (Jan 17, 2018)

I put orange marker stakes (the round fiberglass ones) in my yard for my reno. Neighbors just stay on their own lawn now.


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## knomore (Jul 23, 2018)

Build a fence... a tall fence.


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## Deke (Jun 10, 2019)

ninja[Sloth said:


> " post_id=184482 time=1562426214 user_id=2271]
> I keep rewriting this and it turns into a book. Lets try this again, my lawn overgrows very easily. I cut it high, my neighbors don't get why I do, but my mostly fescue lawn really likes being in the 3" territory.
> 
> If there is the slightest sign of getting out of control, one of my neighbors will drive his mower out of the section along the dirt road. This just so happens to be the thinnest part of the lawn, because the dust from the class 5 makes any bare spots impenetrable. Most riding mowers highest setting is about 1 notch from my lowest setting, and this happened yesterday while I was at work.
> ...


Walk over to their house and tell him not to mow your lawn. Guy prolly thinks he is doing you a favor since you are so busy with work.


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## Chris LI (Oct 26, 2018)

As others have mentioned, a conversation with your neighbor to clear up any misunderstandings, would be my first course of action. If that proves not to be effective, than several properly placed boulders, I mean "decorative landscaping stones" (narrower than his mower deck), may be an option.


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## ninja[Sloth] (Jul 4, 2018)

Spoke with the neighbor before, for some perspective he has about 30 years on me. He has a daughter that is probably 5-10 years older than me who is developmentally disabled, and lives in the house behind the one directly across from the front of my house. Her son, who seems to be more severe than her, lives with him and his wife, behind me. The way we have discussed other things, I don't think I am going to convince him that there's a plan. I suspect that in his mind, he's being tolerant to his "not so bright" neighbor and giving me reminders when he goes between the property she lives on and where he lives. He did it to the guy across the street once before, and his yard is way nicer than mine.

He's a retired city employee, everyone still knows and loves him. Heck, he even plows my driveway for 20 dollars a year. I don't want to outright anger him with any retaliation, as he would just call the city for any of the numerous code violations that happen in my neighborhood (we're all guilty, but we ignore it because we don't care).

The crabgrass filled in most of the voids, and reality broke my spirit a bit. So Sunday I decided to mow the lawn lower than I had been in that section. I was going to start taking out fence sections and mow the stuff behind it yesterday or tonight. Today I came home to a double pass.



Not anything that's going to kill my yard, but disheartening none the less. I suspect he didn't take too kindly to the ragged 2' strip of grass between my driveway and the dirt road. I had sprayed that, so I figured I'd let it die before buzzing it.

I'm going to prune the trees up to get some more sun on the ground, and take out the poltergeist tree next to the house. I'll see how much ground I can cover with my water supply as-is and prep a section for scorched earth. Before anyone reacts, this isn't some form of self-immolation to spite my neighbor. I've been thinking about this and I'd like to have a section of yard that's free of fine fescue. Also it would be fun to see what I can get away with in regard to the shade tolerance of bewitched. 

Anyways, thanks for putting up with my drama. I'll post my progress in another thread.


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## MassHole (Jun 27, 2018)

Bring a six pack. Crack one open.
Hey thanks for mowing my lawn but I like it long and thick. It makes it look better.
Please don't mow my lawn again or I won't bring you another beer!


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## ken-n-nancy (Jul 25, 2017)

MassHole said:


> Bring a six pack. Crack one open.
> Hey thanks for mowing my lawn but I like it long and thick. It makes it look better.
> Please don't mow my lawn again or I won't bring you another beer!


Sage advice here.

If your neighbor doesn't drink, substitute a nice cool glass of lemonade, ice tea, or a Coke.


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## Lawngirl (Jul 23, 2019)

I have the same issue with my North Dakota neighbor. He scalps his lawn. I keep mine between 3.5 and 4 inches. He comes a good 6 feet into my property and actually mowes around the trees I have planted. So then I sit with scalped lawn and my normal height in the backyard.

He's doing this to be nice. He's a good neighbor and tries to help me out as I am a single female and I think he feels he needs to help.

I do appreciate the help so I have tried to talk to him about my weed issue and why I cut high. That didn't work.

I tried turning my side yard sprinkler on one day when he was cutting my grass. That didn't work. The guy kept mowing while it was on, he's determined to get my yard mowed, I guess.

So now, I mow his front and side yard while I'm doing mine. (thankfully it doesn't take too long to do his) That's somewhat working. The key is I have to get to it before he does. 
I cut his the way he likes it and mine the way I like it. So far this is the best solution I have come up with.


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## ken-n-nancy (Jul 25, 2017)

Lawngirl said:


> I have the same issue with my North Dakota neighbor. ...
> 
> So now, I mow his front and side yard while I'm doing mine. (thankfully it doesn't take too long to do his) That's somewhat working. The key is I have to get to it before he does.
> 
> I cut his the way he likes it and mine the way I like it. So far this is the best solution I have come up with.


The world needs more neighbors like you! You sound like a great neighbor!

I might suggest that the next time you mow his front lawn, you ask him afterwards if you cut his lawn at the height he likes -- that when you mowed his lawn you adjust your mower from your desired cutting height to his, so that is cut at the height he prefers, but you want to be sure that you got it right. Hopefully he'll take the hint / reminder and make a similar adjustment if he ever cuts your lawn in the future.

I think your approach is an excellent one!


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## Lawngirl (Jul 23, 2019)

I think maybe mowing his lawn just worked. He came out to say hi as I was mowing his lawn and he mentioned he was going to keep his a bit taller now because he thinks I was right with my mowing height versus his. Lol!

This neighbor issue just maybe resolved itself and he won't scalp mine again.

Fingers crossed!


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## ken-n-nancy (Jul 25, 2017)

Lawngirl said:


> I think maybe mowing his lawn just worked. ... he mentioned he was going to keep his a bit taller now because he thinks I was right with my mowing height versus his. Lol!


Bingo! We have a winner!


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## Chris LI (Oct 26, 2018)

ken-n-nancy said:


> Lawngirl said:
> 
> 
> > I think maybe mowing his lawn just worked. ... he mentioned he was going to keep his a bit taller now because he thinks I was right with my mowing height versus his. Lol!
> ...


You just taught him something by demonstrating it without offending him or showing him up with your mowing skills (or his knowledge/lack of knowledge). Home run! In the future, if he does scalp it, you can add some extra water and fertility (try foliar sprays), to get your turf to rebound. Glad to hear things seem to be working out for you.


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## BXMurphy (Aug 5, 2017)

Great thread. It had drama, tears... we laughed we cried... we had it all! 

The original writer, though... man, neighbors can be downers. If they want to do you dirt, they will.

Very often, it comes down to either might makes right or who has the most to lose in a protracted battle of wills. And is it all worth the aggravation?

The original writer just isn't around long enough to press his case if the neighbor won't stand down. That writer may just have to give up the skirmish and let the neighbor have his way with the strip.

Options for a stubborn neighbor are often limited by time and money. Both seem in short supply here. Concentrate on what you can control: Your frustration and the rest of your fine lawn.

Or, maybe plant a flower garden or mulch it down?

Best,
B


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