# Infertility (outside of our lawns)



## NewLawnJon (Aug 3, 2018)

I just thought I would throw this out there.

There are millions of couples in the United States struggling with infertility issues (my wife and I included), but there are very few sources to talk about the issues.

My wife and I went through Clomid about 8 years ago, and that is how we conceived our son.

About 3 years ago we tried Clomid with IUS for another child and were unsuccessful.

Last fall we started the OVF process, were able to retrieve 9 eggs, and of those 9, 2 inseminated, and 1 made it to day 5 for implantation. Fortunately for us the implantation took, and we are pregnant again.

I am sure I am not the only male on the forum to go through this/ or the only one who will go through this, and the process is very unnatural feeling. If you have any questions, comments about the process, or just want advice and opinions on the process I am an open book.


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## dfw_pilot (Jan 28, 2017)

I hear ya. Our first was IVF and our second was IUI. Not fun, especially for my wife. Thankfully, God was good and we have four beautiful kids.


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## Wes (Feb 15, 2017)

My wife is an infertility nurse for one of the top doctor's in the DFW area. I'm wondering if this is how I finally get her to look at this site?


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## FRD135i (Oct 15, 2017)

My wife had to quit coaching soccer. We had been trying for two years before that. Went and saw a doc about it, he let her know that she should have no issues. I believe, and this is just me, that our situation was solved by him giving her piece of mind and the relief of not dealing with crazy parents. It's amazing what stress can do to the human body. I wish it could be that easy for all but defenately some food for thought. 
It's crazy because you will hear about people having issues so they adopt and the boom! Natural conception. 
I wish everyone the best of luck if they are having issues!


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## NewLawnJon (Aug 3, 2018)

Wes said:


> My wife is an infertility nurse for one of the top doctor's in the DFW area. I'm wondering if this is how I finally get her to look at this site?


My wife feels like guys don't talk about it enough. All of her sites are geared towards women.

I figured since we talk about soil fertility might as well throw this out there too.


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## TN Hawkeye (May 7, 2018)

Isn't it strange how you spend most of your life trying to keep it from happening and then when you want it to you can't make it happen?


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## ABC123 (Jul 14, 2017)

Defiantly. Done most things involved with this process. Applied for adoption over a year ago and we just got approved and should be available by the end of the month.


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## Wes (Feb 15, 2017)

TN Hawkeye said:


> Isn't it strange how you spend most of your life trying to keep it from happening and then when you want it to you can't make it happen?


Warning: I'm going down a rabbit hole here...

I get the irony of Hawkeye's post, but when you stop and think about it, it's not so strange at all.

I think a lot of this has to do with where our social mindset is regarding "life planning". My personal opinion (based on observation, not research), is that people are waiting longer to start having children. Sex education and the availability of low-cost high-quality birth control have reduced the likelihood of accidental pregnancy that was more common 30 years ago.

Women are most fertile between 20 - 24 and there is a significant drop-off in fertility after 35. Being over-weight is another major contributor to fertility. This not only affects natural pregnancy, but also the success rate of medical treatment. Also, to @FRD135i's point stress also seems to be a major contributor. My wife has had patients that wiped out a good chuck of their savings (including multiple rounds of IVF) trying to have kids who gave up on the idea and then conceived naturally.

I would guess that if you were to poll most american teenager's today their life plan would look something like this:

Graduate high school
Graduate college
Get a good job
Meet the person of my dreams
Marry the person of my dreams
Buy a house
Have children

Most people aren't going to graduate college before they are 22-23, which means by the time they feel they have a good job, met the right person, and got married they are most likely past their prime fertility.

In no way do I believe that age is the only reason that infertility is higher today than in the past, but any fertility issues are going to be exacerbated by waiting longer to have children. That said, I don't know what the right choice is here. With the degradation in family values over the last 50+ years, I don't think it's wrong for people to decide to wait until they've matured a bit to start making lifelong commitments.

As a child, I experienced multiple divorces (each of my parents remarried at least twice after I was born). This doesn't just affect me. I have 3 half siblings who don't all know each other and my children have more than two sets of grandparents (this makes holidays a logistical nightmare). Personally, I wish my parents had thought a little more about the future and how their choices would affect the family going forward. I waited until I was 28 to get married, and didn't have my first child until I was 31 (my wife was 28). Obviously I can make the argument for waiting, but 3 children later, I know I was lucky and thankful for my blessings.

Without trying to push my religious views on the entire TLF community, the best advice I can offer is to pray fervently about any fertility issues. God provided Abraham and Sarah with the child He promised, He just did it on His own time. IVF is expensive, and doesn't always work. Adoption is expensive and has the benefit of converting an unwanted child into a wanted child, but I understand how some struggle with this as they want a child that is "of their own blood". I believe with enough prayer, no matter the outcome, you will find peace with God's decision.

I've often wondered if parents that go through a fertility crisis don't end up being better husbands, wives, and parents. Any challenge is an opportunity to grow. Sometimes people think having a child will fix their marriage, but I've seen couples that get divorced after unsuccessfully trying to have children, and I'm always thankful that kids didn't get mixed up in that. Although the birth of a child is a magical thing, raising children can be crazy at times. They have the ability to suck all your attention away from your spouse. If your marriage was in trouble before kids, not spending quality time with your spouse isn't going to help.

To be clear, I'm not accusing anyone with fertility issues of having a bad marriage... I'm just throwing it out there as food for thought in hopes that it might give anyone who is going through this (a marriage that's on the rocks) a reason to take a step back and question the decision of having a child right now.

I've sort of taken this thread in a different direction, but to bring it back home, I think this is a great thread. When the fertility issues are on the male side, this is a great place to talk about what's worked for others (much like we do with our lawns). When the fertility issues are on the woman's side, this thread could serve as a great place to talk about how husband's can be supportive as this can definitely be a stressful time in a marriage.


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## dfw_pilot (Jan 28, 2017)

@Wes, great post.

We have friends who planned to have kids during a certain month so the wife wouldn't be too hot during a Texas summer, and it worked. My wife and I were incredulous and probably jealous. But as you say, struggling for a while, and waiting on His timing gave us perspective, patience, stretched our faith, and helped us focus on what was really important.


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