# You might be a bit lawn obsessed if...



## social port

...you look forward to the mow more than the BBQ on the 4th of July

(everyone can follow suit)


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## Redtenchu

You've used the excuse "I've got to mow" in order to avoid a social event with the in-laws, and no one questioned it...


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## social port

You've used someone's driveway to "turn around" just so you could get a better look at the lawn.


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## social port

…Instead of feeling guilty about NOT mowing the lawn, you feel guilty for mowing 'too much.'


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## chrismar

You notice the word "lawn" in random places, like UPS packages:


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## Jericho574

-You've mowed 4 days in a row but you're not a greenskeeper
-Conversations with neighbors lead back to your yard 100% of the time
-You actually know what PGR is
-When your yard is perfect, that's when you start planning your next leveling weekend.
-Watching your yard get watered is relaxing.
-You secretly look down on neighbors who claim bermuda should be 3-4"
-Painting your yard green in the winter is on the table for discussion.
-Your yard is white from sand more often than green from grass.
-Your day is just a little bit better when its a day to drop some fertilizer.
-You like the smell of milorganite
-When your yard is literally perfect but claim it'll be 2-3 years before you get it where you want it (looking at you MQ )
-When other's back off the N in summer, you simply water longer.
-You chuckle when people ask if you use weed & feed
-Your S/O talks about your lawn as if it's one of your kids.
-You engage in discussions about if you should edge first or mow.
-One of the requirements for your next house is a flat yard.
-You've seen the Lawn Care Nut's youtube video about sun direction for striping.
-You get bummed, when a planned mow gets rained out.
-You plan your vacations around mowing days.


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## Ware

Jericho574 said:


> -You've mowed 4 days in a row but you're not a greenskeeper
> -Conversations with neighbors lead back to your yard 100% of the time
> -You actually know what PGR is
> -When your yard is perfect, that's when you start planning your next leveling weekend.
> -Watching your yard get watered is relaxing.
> -You secretly look down on neighbors who claim bermuda should be 3-4"
> -Painting your yard green in the winter is on the table for discussion.
> -Your yard is white from sand more often than green from grass.
> -Your day is just a little bit better when its a day to drop some fertilizer.
> -You like the smell of milorganite
> -When your yard is literally perfect but claim it'll be 2-3 years before you get it where you want it (looking at you MQ )
> -When other's back off the N in summer, you simply water longer.
> -You chuckle when people ask if you use weed & feed
> -Your S/O talks about your lawn as if it's one of your kids.
> -You engage in discussions about if you should edge first or mow.
> -One of the requirements for your next house is a flat yard.
> -You've seen the Lawn Care Nut's youtube video about sun direction for striping.
> -You get bummed, when a planned mow gets rained out.
> -You plan your vacations around mowing days.


Very nice. :thumbup:


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## Redtenchu

Ware said:


> Jericho574 said:
> 
> 
> 
> -You've mowed 4 days in a row but you're not a greenskeeper
> -Conversations with neighbors lead back to your yard 100% of the time
> -You actually know what PGR is
> -When your yard is perfect, that's when you start planning your next leveling weekend.
> -Watching your yard get watered is relaxing.
> -You secretly look down on neighbors who claim bermuda should be 3-4"
> -Painting your yard green in the winter is on the table for discussion.
> -Your yard is white from sand more often than green from grass.
> -Your day is just a little bit better when its a day to drop some fertilizer.
> -You like the smell of milorganite
> -When your yard is literally perfect but claim it'll be 2-3 years before you get it where you want it (looking at you MQ )
> -When other's back off the N in summer, you simply water longer.
> -You chuckle when people ask if you use weed & feed
> -Your S/O talks about your lawn as if it's one of your kids.
> -You engage in discussions about if you should edge first or mow.
> -One of the requirements for your next house is a flat yard.
> -You've seen the Lawn Care Nut's youtube video about sun direction for striping.
> -You get bummed, when a planned mow gets rained out.
> -You plan your vacations around mowing days.
> 
> 
> 
> Very nice. :thumbup:
Click to expand...

+1, some good Meme material in this post!


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## SGrabs33

You almost crash your car on the highway trying to get a good look and guess what type of sod is on the back of a semi.


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## Killbuzz

Jericho574 said:


> -You plan your vacations around mowing days.


Yup

You leave work early to mow your lawn before it rains.


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## socopithy

You signed up for thelawnforum.com


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## Colonel K0rn

socopithy said:


> You signed up for thelawnforum.com


+1 Guilty as charged!
- You cringe when you see kids blowing dandelion heads in movies


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## social port

...you watch golf just to look at the grass.


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## Mightyquinn

SGrabs33 said:


> You almost crash your car on the highway trying to get a good look and guess what type of sod is on the back of a semi.


 :lol: I'm guilty of this too!!! Also when you go buy a farmers market or garden center and they have pallets of sod for sale. It's usually Centipede around here


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## social port

...you whistle the background music from Grassdaddy's videos.


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## Ware

social port said:


> ...you whistle the background music from Grassdaddy's videos.


 :lol: :lol:


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## J_nick

You had a dream you bought a triplex then was disappointed when you checked the shop in the morning and it wasn't there :sorry:


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## M311att

Put sprigs in your pocket before you left the golf course.


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## social port

...you can read
"PRG+PGR"
as seamlessly as common vernacular.


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## social port

...you never willingly miss lunch
--unless it's lawn day.


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## Jericho574

-You shampoo your lawn
-It literally takes minutes of intense search to find a weed....and when you find one, you feel like less of a man/woman
-Your spouse randomly asks if Ware's trenches have filled in yet.
-You feel a little self-conscious admitting you're using a rotary
-You've turned down jobs because you don't want to move into the "Cool season lawns" discussion.
-You measure your HOC with a stimpmeter.


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## Topcat

...when you leave work because you are genuinely sick, but muster just enough strength to get a double cut in before taking NyQuil and going to bed at 3:30 pm.


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## MarkAguglia

You binge watch YouTube videos of other people mowing their lawns because you just mowed your lawn and now youre sad you have to wait days to mow it again.


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## MarkAguglia

You walk your dog down every possible angle in front of your property to see what the neighbors view of your lawn is.


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## MarkAguglia

socopithy said:


> You signed up for thelawnforum.com


  :lol:

Too funny. And too true.


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## wardconnor

MarkAguglia said:


> ...... you have to wait days to mow it again.


Say what.......? Who said that you have to wait for days?I'm Kidding. I mow almost daily. I cut off about an eighth of an inch or so with daily cutting.


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## social port

...the only reason you open the blinds is so you can look at your grass.


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## social port

…decisions about your lawn begin to feel like big life decisions.


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## Pete1313

You are on vacation and..
-You woke up after having a dream(nightmare) that half of your grass had greened back up that you killed for a renovation when you returned.
-You wonder if the beach sand would make a good topdressing sand, and wish you had an endless supply of it like the beach does.
-You critique the turf that is on the resort and how it is not smooth enough.
-You wonder what type of warm season grass they used because it looks like a cool season grass.


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## dfw_pilot

You fret over your front lawn's appearance so the next Google street view image looks good for the next decade.


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## J_nick

Pete1313 said:


> You are on vacation and..


Haha I was on vacation earlier this week and thought entirely too much about what HOC I was going to be able to go with after returning home. Luckily the kids were worn out and slept most of the way home so instead of stopping we pushed through and got home a day earlier than planned.


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## Jericho574

As the rain clouds near, you've told your wife that you're just going to do a quick double cut.


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## social port

…You miss half of what your spouse says, but you suddenly acquire supersonic hearing when someone starts a lawnmower half a mile down the road.


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## Ware

Jericho574 said:


> -Your spouse randomly asks if Ware's trenches have filled in yet.


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## Jericho574

social port said:


> …You miss half of what your spouse says, but you suddenly acquire supersonic hearing when someone starts a lawnmower half a mile down the road.


+1!!!!

You have audio recordings of various mowers and guess which is which (Gone in 60 seconds game)


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## MarkV

If your wife springs a long weekend trip on you and your first thought is crap now I have to change my mowing schedule.


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## Jericho574

MarkV said:


> If your wife springs a long weekend trip on you and your first thought is crap now I have to change my mowing schedule.


I'm going to piggyback on that one...

If your wife springs a long weekend trip on you and your first thought is crap now I have to raise my HOC!


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## Iriasj2009

Omg, these are too funny and true!!! I'm glad I'm not the only one haha. I'm guilty of mowing even when I don't have to mow. Being on the lawn forum all the time.


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## social port

...if you've considered buying the empty lot next to your house as part of your weed control strategy for the upcoming year.


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## ajmikola

You use your shop vac to clean out your edges.


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## chrismar

ajmikola said:


> You use your shop vac to clean out your edges.


You think this is a great idea!


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## Jericho574

You've considered using your home vacuum as a lawn vacuum.


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## Spammage

You've ever thought about retraining the dogs to pee in the house to keep them from spotting the yard.


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## g-man

^ I trained my lab to pee in the mulch. It is a great fertilizer to the plants in the mulch.


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## social port

...rather than looking at the sky, you're more interested in what your lawn looks like during the solar eclipse.


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## Ware

social port said:


> ...rather than looking at the sky, you're more interested in what your lawn looks like during the solar eclipse.


This is totally me. Stand by for photos. :lol:


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## Jericho574

Eclipse

You're pissed that your lawn will be losing a few mins of sunlight


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## Reel Low Dad

Dropping bags of Milo in the build up to totality in hopes of some mystical levels of greening and psychotic stolon spread.


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## Nkoehn22

... when your trying to justify / sneak in a new roller so the wife doesn't recognize it.


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## pennstater2005

Every time you glance over to the neighbors all you can see is the creeping Charlie slowly making its way over. And you're secretly devising your plan to not let that happen.


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## monty

pennstater2005 said:


> Every time you glance over to the neighbors all you can see is the creeping Charlie slowly making its way over. And you're secretly devising your plan to not let that happen.


I use the triclopyr in a hose end sprayer! Get some over spray into adjacent yards without specifically spot spraying someone else's yard.


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## pennstater2005

monty said:


> pennstater2005 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Every time you glance over to the neighbors all you can see is the creeping Charlie slowly making its way over. And you're secretly devising your plan to not let that happen.
> 
> 
> 
> I use the triclopyr in a hose end sprayer! Get some over spray into adjacent yards without specifically spot spraying someone else's yard.
Click to expand...

Yep. I do that as well. Blanket a little extra herbicide along the perimeter :nod:


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## Redtenchu

You get excited when the neighbors mow and didn't blow clippings all over your lawn.


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## Colonel K0rn

You start identifying weeds in the grass at the drive through.


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## Redtenchu

Colonel K0rn said:


> You start identifying weeds in the grass at the drive through.


Lmao


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## Jericho574

You look at every landscaping truck that passes by to see if they are sporting any reels.


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## Iriasj2009




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## social port

...You've stopped for-hire mowers to ask them to stop discharging grass on your lawn.


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## social port

...you tell everyone that you are walking around your neighborhood to get some exercise, but you are really just trying to get a look at what the neighbors have been up to in their yards.


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## social port

...if this post makes your day



Iriasj2009 said:


>


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## Iriasj2009

social port said:


> ...if this post makes your day
> 
> 
> 
> Iriasj2009 said:
Click to expand...

Didn't mean to make fun of the severity of the storm.


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## social port

Iriasj2009 said:


> social port said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...if this post makes your day
> 
> 
> 
> Iriasj2009 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Didn't mean to make fun of the severity of the storm.
Click to expand...

I didn't take it that way-- not at all


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## Pete1313

You start your weekend mornings watching premier league soccer... But you are watching just because of how amazing the fields look.


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## pennstater2005

If you're sitting on the deck, get a whiff of 2,4D, and your five year old says "mmm that smells good....2,4D right Daddy?


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## ajmikola

Pete1313 said:


> You start your weekend mornings watching premier league soccer... But you are watching just because of how amazing the fields look.


I am a La Liga guy, but i would love to know what the grounds keepers in europe use as far as mowers.


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## g-man

Someone posted a video of a premier league grounds crew recently. I can't find it


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## ajmikola

Never in a million years would I have guessed that stadiums use a rotary mower, but damn, here you go. Kinda breaks my heart  . I always thought that it had to be very short warm season grass, in fact I would have guessed they use a triplex reel for fairways. 
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&ved=0ahUKEwiKhMuxhf7VAhUF7yYKHZl0CzkQtwIILzAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBOlfwjzKiHU&usg=AFQjCNGPhvcTWPP6Zz2AxrlTJ-mVg6hj1Q


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## Ware

ajmikola said:


> Never in a million years would I have guessed that stadiums use a rotary mower, but damn, here you go. Kinda breaks my heart  . I always thought that it had to be very short warm season grass, in fact I would have guessed they use a triplex reel for fairways.
> https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&ved=0ahUKEwiKhMuxhf7VAhUF7yYKHZl0CzkQtwIILzAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBOlfwjzKiHU&usg=AFQjCNGPhvcTWPP6Zz2AxrlTJ-mVg6hj1Q


I think what you found is an exception.


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## Stegs

you cut your lawn on a certain angle for the weekend cut, so it gets the most exposure of people driving by!


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## Taylor_XMK

when u drive 22 hours straight into Kentucky for a 400$ greensmower u saw on ebay


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## dfw_pilot

Taylor_XMK said:


> when u drive 22 hours straight into Kentucky for a 400$ greensmower u saw on ebay


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## g-man

22hrs from SC to Kentucky? Orlando is 14hr from Indy.


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## dfw_pilot

Prolly round trip.


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## Taylor_XMK

dfw_pilot said:


> Prolly round trip.


Round trip non stop


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## social port

Taylor_XMK said:


> dfw_pilot said:
> 
> 
> 
> Prolly round trip.
> 
> 
> 
> Round trip non stop
Click to expand...

In any case, that is still a bit lawn obsessed...


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## social port

...if you get angry because Johnson and Johnson and their competitors have moved towards all-in-one baby shampoo plus baby wash solutions.


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## Fronta1

You've added "dethatching" and "aerating" to your phone's keyboard dictionary.


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## LawnNerd

When you have guests staying the weekend and you debate telling them they can't shower before 6am because the sprinklers are running.

When you do "an audit" but don't need the checkbook.

To piggy back a previous one -- when you miss half of what your wife says but the sprinklers turning on can wake you from a dead sleep.


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## social port

...if you mentally draw up a plan to improve the lawn of family/friends, but then realize that if you had the extra time to work on their lawn, you would much rather work on yours.


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## social port

...if you've had the worst and the best lawn on your block within a calendar year.


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## social port

...you are the only one in the neighborhood whose pulled their car over to tell your neighbor, "lookin' good," after the third glyphosate app during a renovation.


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## ajmikola

When you catch yourself trying to diagonally stripe the carpet when vacuuming


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## ken-n-nancy

ajmikola said:


> When you catch yourself trying to diagonally stripe the carpet when vacuuming


Excellent!


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## social port

...you debate whether or not to provide unsolicited lawn advice.


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## social port

...you've considered moving to a different state because of a grass type preference.


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## j4c11

ajmikola said:


> When you catch yourself trying to diagonally stripe the carpet when vacuuming


Oh man that is brilliant, I'm going to have to do double-wides one day just to see the look on my wife's face.


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## J_nick

social port said:


> ...you've considered moving to a different state because of a grass type preference.


Bermuda is intriguing isn't it :mrgreen:


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## g-man

J_nick said:


> social port said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...you've considered moving to a different state because of a grass type preference.
> 
> 
> 
> Bermuda is intriguing isn't it :mrgreen:
Click to expand...

He said grass not weed. :lol: 
I'm guessing he means a kbg monostand.


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## HoosierLawnGnome

... you spend your afternoon on your day off posting on the internet about lawns....


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## J_nick

g-man said:


> J_nick said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> social port said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...you've considered moving to a different state because of a grass type preference.
> 
> 
> 
> Bermuda is intriguing isn't it :mrgreen:
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> He said grass not weed. :lol:
> I'm guessing he means a kbg monostand.
Click to expand...

Lol, I saw the thread where he mentioned moving but Canada isn't a state. I think he secretly wants to move to Bermuda country. It is the alpha male of grasses after all. All you northerns try to kill it but it just keeps coming back to claim more ground. I think it's about time you guys embrace it.


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## social port

...you've thought about moving to Alaska so that the only thing you have to embrace is the cold.


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## social port

...you choose the exterior paint for your house based on the effect the paint color will have on the look of your lawn.

(GrassDaddy, I'm looking at you  )


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## chrismar

You wake up in the middle of the night due to a lawn dream (nightmare?)...

A semi truck was trying to turn around in my cul-de-sac. He wasn't patient and instead of seesawing he decided to just drive over my lawn. We had gotten a bunch of rain and the lawn was wet. The weight of the truck caused him to get stuck after creating huge ruts. I ran outside and started taking pictures and screaming. He started saying he wasn't going to do a damn thing about it and to f-off. That's when I woke up.

I looked outside and the lawn was fine. Phew.


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## ken-n-nancy

chrismar said:


> You wake up in the middle of the night due to a lawn dream (nightmare?)...


Yup. A definite indication of being lawn obsessed!


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## LawnNerd

chrismar said:


> You wake up in the middle of the night due to a lawn dream (nightmare?)...
> 
> A semi truck was trying to turn around in my cul-de-sac. He wasn't patient and instead of seesawing he decided to just drive over my lawn. We had gotten a bunch of rain and the lawn was wet. The weight of the truck caused him to get stuck after creating huge ruts. I ran outside and started taking pictures and screaming. He started saying he wasn't going to do a damn thing about it and to f-off. That's when I woke up.
> 
> I looked outside and the lawn was fine. Phew.


OMG, i'd probably drop dead from the ensuing heart attack.


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## J_nick

If you go through the photos on your phone and you have more pictures of the lawn than your kids.


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## SNOWBOB11

When you buy and plant a forsythia not because you like the way it looks, but just to know when is the right time to put down your pre-e.


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## Colonel K0rn

You drive through the brand new car wash 30 minutes after they open, and feel sorry for them because they've already got sedge growing through the sod that's been down less than a week. And someone left something on there to make the letter "D"


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## wardconnor

J_nick said:


> If you go through the photos on your phone and you have more pictures of the lawn than your kids.


Ha ha


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## LawnNerd

J_nick said:


> If you go through the photos on your phone and you have more pictures of the lawn than your kids.


I refuse to count... because i know i'll have to fully admit to myself my obsession.


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## HoosierDaddy

..this catches your eye at Arlington Cemetery


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## social port

...you ask your friend to send you pictures of your lawn while you are away on vacation.


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## g-man

^ you don't have lawn video cameras? I mean security cameras.


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## social port

...you need a higher resolution image than the ones provided by lawn video cameras.


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## social port

...you get so distracted while reading The Lawn Forum that you forget that you've left the water running and end up flooding the bathroom ardon:


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## social port

...you have a reasonable expectation that your spouse will be planning a lawn intervention for you in the near future.


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## LawnNerd

When you don't stop doing work just because it's raining. You don't need to water in the sprayed urea if you put it out in the rain...


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## Ridgerunner

Your wife wants you to make an appointment to see the doctor because you didn't do anything with the lawn today.


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## Redtenchu

Your buddy sends a picture of his truck and you immediately zoom in on the turf in the background....


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## Ware

Redtenchu said:


> Your buddy sends a picture of his truck and you immediately zoom in on the turf in the background....


Haha, so we're buddies? :lol:


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## social port

...after being compelled to dress up for Halloween, only two options seem possible: Dwight Schrute from The Office and Professor Pete from GCI Turf Services.


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## LawnNerd

Good ol Professor Pete.


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## TC2

Lawn obsession fail:

The DMV handed you the car plate NPK XXX and it took you 5 months to finally figure out why you thought it sounded familiar .


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## social port

...you're browsing The Lawn Forum on Christmas Eve.

(Merry Christmas to all)


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## FRD135i

social port said:


> ...you're browsing The Lawn Forum on Christmas Eve.
> 
> (Merry Christmas to all)


Guilty


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## Colonel K0rn

Happy New Year everyone!


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## Ware

...you buy a drone to capture to capture aerial shots of your lawn.


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## Pete1313

Ware said:


> ...you buy a drone to capture to capture aerial shots of your lawn.


I don't find that obsessive. Seems perfectly normal to my eyes! :shock:


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## Mightyquinn

Pete1313 said:


> Ware said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...you buy a drone to capture to capture aerial shots of your lawn.
> 
> 
> 
> I don't find that obsessive. Seems perfectly normal to my eyes! :shock:
Click to expand...

LOL!!!! +1 :thumbup:


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## Pete1313

You blurt out the answer to this game card before the family even flips the timer over.


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## g-man

Just 3? Thats way too easy.


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## Pete1313

g-man said:


> Just 3? Thats way too easy.


Um.. I thought there was only 3? JD, Toro, and Jacobsen..


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## Ware

Pete1313 said:


> Um.. I thought there was only 3? JD, Toro, and Jacobsen..


:lol:


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## MasterMech

Pete1313 said:


> You blurt out the answer to this game card before the family even flips the timer over.


Hehe, I'm not sure I'd stop at 3! :bandit:


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## Redtenchu

You fart and it reminds you of the fertilizer you prefer.


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## wardconnor

If you seriously considered buying all 4 toro flex 21 mowers that were for sale in front of you for $200 each, even though you already have 2 other toro greens mowers.


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## social port

...you discover that you have unknowingly created a lawn obsession thread that is nearly identical to a lawn obsession thread on another lawn enthusiast forum :?


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## LawnNerd

You are currently shopping for a new SAN for work, and you have bad feeling when talking to HPE Nimble Reps because all you can think when you see the name is that PITA weed you've been fighting for 2 years....


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## Suaverc118

You used to just love crepe myrtles and couldn't wait to get them at your new home... Then find out that those once pretty flowers makes your lawn look ugly!!!! See, when I kinda cared about my lawn it didn't bother me, but damn this just drives me crazy!! Almost to the point of wondering how much it would cost to move them. Haha!!! Anyone else experience this and how did you deal with it?


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## Ecks from Tex

My plan is to get a Billy Goat lawn vacuum


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## Movingshrub

You offer to cut down your neighbors trees for free so your warm season grass can get more sun light.


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## Ware

I had a few, but dug them out of the ground one cool fall morning. I think they look terrible most of the year, then once they bloom and look halfway decent they can't handle their own weight after a hard rain... which I suspect is why you are subsidizing its existence with that bungee cord. :lol:


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## Suaverc118

Ecks from Tex said:


> My plan is to get a Billy Goat lawn vacuum


I'll have to look into that!


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## Suaverc118

Ware said:


> I had a few, but dug them out of the ground one cool fall morning. I think they look terrible most of the year, then once they bloom and look halfway decent they can't handle their own weight after a hard rain... which I suspect is why you are subsidizing its existence with that bungee cord. :lol:


I have one on the opposite side of the house near my driveway that I'm not too worried about, but this one!!!! I'm really thinking about having someone come dig it out and move it to the back or something. I didn't realize the bungee was in the picture. Lol! I need to trim it back a little more. Man, that bungee is ghetto though huh, hahaha!
Another question... Do the flowers hurt the grass? I know it can stain a vehicle, so was concern it can damage the grass. I did a search the other day and couldn't find any info on it.


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## Suaverc118

Movingshrub said:


> You offer to cut down your neighbors trees for free so your warm season grass can get more sun light.


For some reason I don't get this comment. Lol


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## Movingshrub

I was finishing your lead in. You know you're a Lawn Care Nut when...you offer to cut down your neighbors trees for free so your warm season grass can get more sun light.


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## pennstater2005

you think about the weeds and general imperfections in your grass *a lot* like way more than can be healthy :lol:


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## Suaverc118

Movingshrub said:


> I was finishing your lead in. You know you're a Lawn Care Nut when...you offer to cut down your neighbors trees for free so your warm season grass can get more sun light.


Duh, I get it now. Lol


----------



## Suaverc118

pennstater2005 said:


> you think about the weeds and general imperfections in your grass *a lot* like way more than can be healthy :lol:


Yup!!!


----------



## M311att

The condition of your lawn in the morning affects the rest of your day.


----------



## Tellycoleman

yOUR a NUT when you spend a day and a half making your WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL lawn look like a volleyball court with sand.

WHen your wife says you are CHEATING on her

"With WHO?????" you ask

BERMUDA!!!!


----------



## Suaverc118

M311att said:


> The condition of your lawn in the morning affects the rest of your day.


Truth!!!


----------



## Suaverc118

Tellycoleman said:


> yOUR a NUT when you spend a day and a half making your WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL lawn look like a volleyball court with sand.
> 
> WHen your wife says you are CHEATING on her
> 
> "With WHO?????" you ask
> 
> BERMUDA!!!!


I feel like my wife thinks Bermuda is my sancha


----------



## social port

I've decided that I no longer care if I unknowingly created a lawn obsession thread that is nearly identical to one on another site.

I'm resurrecting this thread.
:bandit:


----------



## social port

...you discover bermuda grass growing in your cool season turf and your wife asks, "Are you okay?"


----------



## social port

...your mail carrier comments on how hard you work on your lawn.


----------



## social port

...you can give scientific names for different types of bluegrass off the top of your head.


----------



## social port

...your garage is full of lawn supplements that "you'll use one day."


----------



## social port

You question if there is a difference between being a lawn care nut and being a bit lawn obsessed https://thelawnforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=591


----------



## FRD135i

You trash a bedknife and have a full emotional breakdown outside. You then walk inside and you wife wondered how you got done so fast and you just cross your arms like a child and say "I don't want to talk about it"


----------



## Colonel K0rn

FRD135i said:


> You trash a bedknife and have a full emotional breakdown outside. You then walk inside and you wife wondered how you got done so fast and you just cross your arms like a child and say "I don't want to talk about it"


LOL, there's been a rash of those posts lately.


----------



## FRD135i

FRD135i said:


> You trash a bedknife and have a full emotional breakdown outside. You then walk inside and your wife wondered how you got done so fast and you just cross your arms like a child and say "I don't want to talk about it"


----------



## social port

...you view family vacations as a chance to see grass types in a different region of the country.


----------



## Pete1313

social port said:


> ...you view family vacations as a chance to see grass types in a different region of the country.


You see family vacations as not being able to mow for 9 days..


----------



## g-man

You get your kid to vacuum the lawn. Learning from @wardconnor :lol:


----------



## Colonel K0rn

You can readily identify weeds growing by storm drains because you've had it in your lawn before, and you know how to kill it.

I call this "Goose Grass In The Parking Lot"


----------



## MatthewinGA

I'm guilty of it all.


----------



## MatthewinGA

If you're so obsessed you watch the neighbors cutting their lawn and cringing at how they're doing it ALL WRONG!!! And only if you could help them but they won't listen and only cut every other Saturday and skip if it rains. 
But they want their grass to look just like yours.


----------



## Suburban Jungle Life

... if you take a minute to stare at your stripes before driving off to work.


----------



## Grass Whisper

Your wife tells you freely that you, "You care about the ****ing lawn more than ME!!"

That you wax the mower once a year because it looks pretty.....

Think that moles and mole cricket are example the God has a sense of humor.....

Agree with Forrest Gump in that I too would "Cut that for free if I was a Gozillonare!"


----------



## Grass Whisper

Wait I forgot to add:

I have 3 mowers, a Ariens rear bagger for spring cleanup, a Hustler fastrak, and a Toro mulcher. Is that too many? I THINK NOT!!


----------



## pennstater2005

.........every time you come home you drive slowly down the driveway to check out the grass. My wife *hates* this and now I just do it on purpose to annoy her.

My kids think it's hilarious.


----------



## Miller_Low_Life

If your phone has more pictures of your lawn than it does your own children.


----------



## social port

...if you drive through town taking pictures of businesses with well-manicured lawns after a TLF member expressed interest in seeing them.


----------



## pennstater2005

Miller_Low_Life said:


> If your phone has more pictures of your lawn than it does your own children.


Oh man :nod: So true......every time I look for pictures of my kids to show folks the first thing they see is loads of pictures of my lawn. And then I'm like......I know they're in here hang on a sec.........wait........I know I have pictures of my kids....anyway here's my lawn :lol:


----------



## J_nick

You're about to go to bed but look at the clock and realize the sprinklers are about to kick on. You go sit on the patio just to watch them.


----------



## Greenrebellion

J_nick said:


> You're about to go to bed but look at the clock and realize the sprinklers are about to kick on. You go sit on the patio just to watch them.


Watching sprinklers is literally one of my favorite things to do!


----------



## Butter

Your phone no longer tries to correct Milorganite!


----------



## Harts

After your mow you stand there for a half hour in a trance admiring how great your lawn looks. Then casually look at your neighbours lawn and snicker


----------



## pennstater2005

Butter said:


> Your phone no longer tries to correct Milorganite!


That was a great day!


----------



## social port

...you are thrilled when you receive an email from Amazon announcing 'certified refurbished Echo' only to be disappointed when you click the link and learn that 'Echo' refers to a smart speaker for your home


----------



## social port

...you wish that your favorite lawncare youtube channels had a channel soundtrack available for download


----------



## Miller_Low_Life

social port said:


> ...you wish that your favorite lawncare youtube channels had a channel soundtrack available for download


Thank you!!!
Get on that Lawncarenut & Ryan Knorr!


----------



## social port

@Miller_Low_Life most recently, I really got a kick out of Ryan's video where he is mowing some wicked stripes-I mean, wicked-and this song in the background keeps repeating, "this is the payoff!" 
It's the video where LCN sends Ryan a striper.


----------



## Ware

social port said:


> ...It's the video where LCN sends Ryan a striper.


I had to read that sentence twice. :lol:

@LawnCareNut @ryanknorr


----------



## social port

@Ware yeah, I had to type it twice


----------



## Miller_Low_Life

Pretty sure Ryan's wife would not be too happy if it was anything other than a striper.


----------



## Jacob_S

When your 7yo daughter sits next to you while watching all y'alls YouTube channels and says wow that's some good lookin yards why doesn't ours look like that.


----------



## social port

...when you are loading up the shopping cart at the grocery store, you say that you're putting some food 'in the hopper.'


----------



## social port

...you've done something extra for your lawn to make it shine for the 4th of July.


----------



## Ware

You eat tuna for breakfast.


----------



## LawnBossLady

...you find grass clippings in your bed.

True story :lol:


----------



## social port

...instead of lending your neighbor some sugar, you offer a little ammonium sulfate to help with their upcoming herbicide application.


----------



## social port

...you've mastered the art of making herbicide overspray in your neighbor's lawn look unintentional.


----------



## pennstater2005

social port said:


> ...you've mastered the art of making herbicide overspray in your neighbor's lawn look unintentional.


Now that you're out of dye that would be the perfect place to start!


----------



## social port

pennstater2005 said:


> social port said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...you've mastered the art of making herbicide overspray in your neighbor's lawn look unintentional.
> 
> 
> 
> Now that you're out of dye that would be the perfect place to start!
Click to expand...

I did.


----------



## RayTL

... you've pondered leaving your job, so you can mow more frequently.


----------



## TN Hawkeye

Your wife asks what you're thinking about and you know you can't say "whether I should mix my Prodiamine and simazine or do 2 applications" so you say another woman. And she says "Bulls*** you're thinking about that damn yard again."


----------



## social port

...the phrase, "it's just grass," is meaningless to you.


----------



## Grasshopper

... The wife says you love the lawn more than her (until she gets that bag she wanted :lol

... The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is open the blinds and "check" on your lawn

... You spend most of the time analyzing neighbours' lawns when going for walks with the family around the neighbourhood


----------



## LawnNeighborSam

Redtenchu said:


> You've used the excuse "I've got to mow" in order to avoid a social event with the in-laws, and no one questioned it...


😂😂😂😂😂😂


----------



## ken-n-nancy

Grasshopper said:


> ... The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is open the blinds and "check" on your lawn


 Oh man, I've been tagged!


----------



## driver_7

Grasshopper said:


> ... The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is open the blinds and "check" on your lawn
> 
> ... You spend most of the time analyzing neighbours' lawns when going for walks with the family around the neighbourhood


These two have my name on them. :lol:


----------



## Noclssgt

you go to look at a brother in law's new house and notice the well manicured lawn 2 doors down (true story)


----------



## Noclssgt

Grasshopper said:


> ... The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is open the blinds and "check" on your lawn
> 
> ... You spend most of the time analyzing neighbours' lawns when going for walks with the family around the neighbourhood


...definitely me.
My daughter started identifying weeds in other neighbors' lawns when we go on walks. I think I'm raising her right


----------



## ctrav

You cant wait for the wife to fall asleep so you can surf the web... lawn -care, equipment, forums, videos, techniques!


----------



## LawnNeighborSam

...you check TLF a bazillion times a day for new topics and posts *refresh browser* *refresh browser* *refresh browser*


----------



## ajmikola

TN Hawkeye said:


> Your wife asks what you're thinking about and you know you can't say "whether I should mix my Prodiamine and simazine or do 2 applications" so you say another woman. And she says "Bulls*** you're thinking about that damn yard again."


Omg, i'm crying.....hilarious.


----------



## iowa jim

Grasshopper said:


> ... The wife says you love the lawn more than her (until she gets that bag she wanted :lol
> 
> ... The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is open the blinds and "check" on your lawn
> 
> ... You spend most of the time analyzing neighbours' lawns when going for walks with the family around the neighbourhood


Grasshopper do you know my wife.


----------



## TheTurfTamer

" When your wife asks you what you want for Christmas and you reply " Pro-Plugger " and you get slapped."


----------



## iowa jim

Aawickham78 said:


> " When your wife asks you what you want for Christmas and you reply " Pro-Plugger " and you get slapped."


Aawickham78: Do you know my wife too.


----------



## TheTurfTamer

"You repaint all of the valve box covers, drain grates and water emitters to match the color of the grass."

"Ok, I do this. Anyone else? Yes, I paint them for dormancy color in the winter as well."

3.7 MB IMG_0993.JPG Check Error


----------



## ctrav

:shock:


----------



## g-man

Aawickham78 said:


> "Ok, I do this. Anyone else? Yes, I paint them for dormancy color in the winter as well."


I paint mine too. The water meter should be painted blue by the utility company. I found a green that matches my lawn. I dont have dormancy color.


----------



## dfw_pilot

I painted a Verizon utility box green, but I don't paint it the color of hay during winter, haha.


----------



## Pete1313

You're getting your hair cut and the stylist mentions the word "stragglers" and having to go back across the top to remove them and what you think about is a couple stragglers you left after your mowing yesterday.

Then you think how getting a hair cut is very similar to mowing. The trimming, the cutting, the blowing off the clippings when you are done. My haircut is a 5 across the top and a 1 on the back and sides... maybe next time I'll tell them I want a fairway HOC on the top and putting green on the back and sides.. :lol: :lol:


----------



## social port

...in addition to avoiding discussion of politics and religion, you also must think twice before talking about your views on milorganite, core aeration, and liquid aeration


----------



## Colonel K0rn

social port said:


> ...in addition to avoiding discussion of politics and religion, you also must think twice before talking about your views on milorganite, core aeration, and liquid aeration


 :lol: you forgot to mention not bringing up which soil testing service you prefer


----------



## ken-n-nancy

... you set your alarm for early Saturday morning so that you can get the weekly photos of the renovation before the sun gets high enough in the sky to cast sun/shade patches on the lawn!


----------



## chriscarigs

your wife and kids make you lawn mower cupcakes for your Birthday. :lol:

I told her the grass needed some N to darken up that green!


----------



## pennstater2005

@chriscarigs I merged this with the "lawn obsessed" thread. And yes that makes you lawn crazy and yes the cupcakes need some N :lol:


----------



## outdoorsmen




----------



## Movingshrub

Aawickham78 said:


> "You repaint all of the valve box covers, drain grates and water emitters to match the color of the grass."
> 
> "Ok, I do this. Anyone else? Yes, I paint them for dormancy color in the winter as well."
> 
> 3.7 MB IMG_0993.JPG Check Error


The thought had crossed my mind about doing this but I was kind of hesitant to ask. I'm super impressed. Same to you @g-man


----------



## iowa jim

Pete1313 said:


> You're getting your hair cut and the stylist mentions the word "stragglers" and having to go back across the top to remove them and what you think about is a couple stragglers you left after your mowing yesterday.
> 
> Then you think how getting a hair cut is very similar to mowing. The trimming, the cutting, the blowing off the clippings when you are done. My haircut is a 5 across the top and a 1 on the back and sides... maybe next time I'll tell them I want a fairway HOC on the top and putting green on the back and sides.. :lol: :lol:


To bad that they can't make a hair jell with PGR in it.


----------



## dfw_pilot

iowa jim said:


> To bad that they can't make a hair jell with PGR in it.


Or with fertilizer in it


----------



## daniel3507

...you back into your driveway spot to avoid compacting the soil from getting in and out of the truck.


----------



## TheTurfTamer

You check your sidewalk for sand after it rains, Then you get the blower and put it back on the turf!


----------



## social port

...you drive by someone who is mowing grass and you change your car A/C to recirculate to keep the smell of freshly cut grass in the cabin


----------



## Ware

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvC4j2GDlxj/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=j7t30xi8gnns


----------



## BakerGreenLawnMaker

M311att said:


> Put sprigs in your pocket before you left the golf course.


 :lol: :lol: I did the very same thing at the Wells Fargo Championship in Charlotte last year and my buddy said I had issues.


----------



## dfw_pilot

LOL


----------



## social port

...you see this bumper sticker 
and think that this family is just really into lawncare.


----------



## OhDeere

You created your own indoor basement parking spot for your mower.


----------



## RayTL

You are seriously considering a $130 rake for leveling


----------



## social port

...you watch a video by the Grassfactor on developing a program for Nutsedge, and you don't even have a nutsedge problem.


----------



## social port

...you're rockin' the lawn forum at 11pm on a Saturday night.


----------



## dfw_pilot

social port said:


> ...you're rockin' the lawn forum at 11pm on a Saturday night.


 :thumbup:


----------



## Jgourley124

OhDeere said:


> You created your own indoor basement parking spot for your mower.


Any issues parking mower in basement? Curious about fuel or grass smells. I have a walkout basement and the wife wants the park her car in the garage, we don't have a shed so the next option is the basement. Thanks


----------



## pennstater2005

social port said:


> ...you're rockin' the lawn forum at 11pm on a Saturday night.


Guilty as well. Sometimes I'm just hitting the refresh button to see what pops up in the active topic section.


----------



## Jacob_S

When your significant other has been conditioned, without input from you, to walk the yard pulling weeds and runners of unwanted intruders.


----------



## ctrav

You leave the wife at home with the kids on Mothers Day to go look at a reel mower :shock:


----------



## social port

@pennstater2005 @Jacob_S @ctrav
:lol: Love it! :thumbup:


----------



## TN Hawkeye

You're at your sons soccer practice looking down and your wife says "Stop looking at the damn Bermuda." It's not that I was looking at the grass, we all do that, it's that my wife now recognizes Bermuda. Mission 50% complete. When she says "Man they have a lot of nutsedge" my mission will be complete.


----------



## ctrav

TN Hawkeye said:


> You're at your sons soccer practice looking down and your wife says "Stop looking at the damn Bermuda." It's not that I was looking at the grass, we all do that, it's that my wife now recognizes Bermuda. Mission 50% complete. When she says "Man they have a lot of nutsedge" my mission will be complete.


Keep working it...


----------



## TrialAndError

I was watching a HyrBrix vid on YouTube, and the wife says," is that Pete's House"? Mission 60% complete.


----------



## OhDeere

Jgourley124 said:


> OhDeere said:
> 
> 
> 
> You created your own indoor basement parking spot for your mower.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Any issues parking mower in basement? Curious about fuel or grass smells. I have a walkout basement and the wife wants the park her car in the garage, we don't have a shed so the next option is the basement. Thanks
Click to expand...

I usually wipe it down or use the blower on the mower before I bring it in to reduce the grass smells. It smells like fuel for about 20 minutes then goes away. However, my basement isn't carpeted and carpet tends to retain smells.


----------



## MNLawnGuy1980

When you tell your wife you are filling the sprayer to do an application, when in fact you are just filling it with water and a little dye to get a little more color pop on your lawn because you are not happy with it at the moment.


----------



## TheTurfTamer

You have coffee mugs with pictures of you and your grass while drinking a beer!


----------



## social port

Next level, @TheTurfTamer, next level.
That Bermuda is looking pretty good too.


----------



## dfw_pilot

TheTurfTamer said:


> You have coffee mugs with pictures of you and your grass while drinking a beer!


Awesome! A TLF Koozie would have perfected the trifecta.


----------



## pennstater2005

TheTurfTamer said:


> You have coffee mugs with pictures of you and your grass while drinking a beer!


You win.


----------



## FRD135i

pennstater2005 said:


> TheTurfTamer said:
> 
> 
> 
> You have coffee mugs with pictures of you and your grass while drinking a beer!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You win.
Click to expand...

Might as well close the thread after that one.


----------



## TN Hawkeye

TheTurfTamer said:


> You have coffee mugs with pictures of you and your grass while drinking a beer!


Did you buy them or were they a gift? I have to know for reference.


----------



## ctrav

So I'm sitting by the pool enjoying family and friends when I hear my neighbors cutting their lawn. What do I do...get up and cut the front and finish right at dark 😳


----------



## TheTurfTamer

TN Hawkeye said:


> TheTurfTamer said:
> 
> 
> 
> You have coffee mugs with pictures of you and your grass while drinking a beer!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Did you buy them or were they a gift? I have to know for reference.
Click to expand...

I made it myself... HAHAHAHHA


----------



## TN Hawkeye

TheTurfTamer said:


> TN Hawkeye said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TheTurfTamer said:
> 
> 
> 
> You have coffee mugs with pictures of you and your grass while drinking a beer!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Did you buy them or were they a gift? I have to know for reference.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> I made it myself... HAHAHAHHA
Click to expand...

That is the only correct answer. You sir are the winner.


----------



## TN Hawkeye

TrialAndError said:


> I was watching a HyrBrix vid on YouTube, and the wife says," is that Pete's House"? Mission 60% complete.


My wife finished mowing the other day and I could tell she was pissed about something. "What's wrong?" "I couldn't get my stripes straight coming up the hill so they have a curve to them. It really pissed me off." Mission 65%. Then she proceeded to tell me that the "Bermuda runners" were growing out in the road. Before she would just say the grass is growing in the road. Mission 70% complete.


----------



## TN Hawkeye

It's your birthday and your parents call you and have some ideas for what they want to get you for your birthday. Since I had back surgery recently most of it involved things to help my back. I of course said that I needed an extra set of blades for my mower. So Wednesday I'll be putting brand new blades on my mower before I mow. My back can get better while my lawn looks freaking awesome.


----------



## Sbcgenii

TN Hawkeye said:


> TrialAndError said:
> 
> 
> 
> I was watching a HyrBrix vid on YouTube, and the wife says," is that Pete's House"? Mission 60% complete.
> 
> 
> 
> My wife finished mowing the other day and I could tell she was pissed about something. "What's wrong?" "I couldn't get my stripes straight coming up the hill so they have a curve to them. It really pissed me off." Mission 65%. Then she proceeded to tell me that the "Bermuda runners" were growing out in the road. Before she would just say the grass is growing in the road. Mission 70% complete.
Click to expand...

What happens at 100%?


----------



## TN Hawkeye

Sbcgenii said:


> TN Hawkeye said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TrialAndError said:
> 
> 
> 
> I was watching a HyrBrix vid on YouTube, and the wife says," is that Pete's House"? Mission 60% complete.
> 
> 
> 
> My wife finished mowing the other day and I could tell she was pissed about something. "What's wrong?" "I couldn't get my stripes straight coming up the hill so they have a curve to them. It really pissed me off." Mission 65%. Then she proceeded to tell me that the "Bermuda runners" were growing out in the road. Before she would just say the grass is growing in the road. Mission 70% complete.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> What happens at 100%?
Click to expand...

She will probably have her own account on here then. And maybe I get to buy a reel mower. Or she leaves me because the lawn isn't up to her standards. It might be a "monkey touch monolith" moment.


----------



## Sbcgenii

TN Hawkeye said:


> Sbcgenii said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TN Hawkeye said:
> 
> 
> 
> My wife finished mowing the other day and I could tell she was pissed about something. "What's wrong?" "I couldn't get my stripes straight coming up the hill so they have a curve to them. It really pissed me off." Mission 65%. Then she proceeded to tell me that the "Bermuda runners" were growing out in the road. Before she would just say the grass is growing in the road. Mission 70% complete.
> 
> 
> 
> What happens at 100%?
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Or she leaves me because the lawn isn't up to her standards. It might be a "monkey touch monolith" moment.
Click to expand...

LOL


----------



## Pete1313

A chunk of sod falls out of a wheel well at work and you take it, give it some water, trim it with scissors (HOC ~ 1.25"), edge it into a nice little square, blow it off with a blow gun, and then yell at another tech for driving a vehicle over it. :lol:


----------



## SNOWBOB11

Pete1313 said:


> A chunk of sod falls out of a wheel well at work and you take it, give it some water, trim it with scissors (HOC ~ 1.25"), edge it into a nice little square, blow it off with a blow gun, and then yell at another tech for driving a vehicle over it. :lol:


 :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## ktgrok

You spot some spurge and bend over to hand pull it only to remember that it is not normal to weed the median of a random parking lot.

Was totally just instinct, and as I was bending down to grab the weed realized "this isn't my yard, this is Tractor Supply."


----------



## ctrav

ktgrok said:


> You spot some spurge and bend over to hand pull it only to remember that it is not normal to weed the median of a random parking lot.
> 
> Was totally just instinct, and as I was bending down to grab the weed realized "this isn't my yard, this is Tractor Supply."


Did you play it off by tying your shoe 😎


----------



## thebmrust

In the middle of a full reno and was looking at the yard and my wife says:
Wife: "I wish you would look at me like that."
Me: "You want me to look at you thinking I need to cover you with dirt, drag a fence over you, fill the holes, cut the grass, and basically put in a lot of work?"


----------

